It is official – I AM CURED! Went to the see my surgeon last night who gave me the ‘all clear and good to go’ speech and set me on my way with no more imminent visits, just an annual check up. It is really, truly, officially over!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!
I can’t quite get my head around no more hospital clinics, no more drugs and drips, more money as no more need to fork out for parking and prescriptions, no more dealing with doctors, consultants, surgeons or nurses (although in the main they have been great), no more sitting in Dr’s surgeries, no more standing in line for prescriptions, no more dragging my ass to A&E, no more pain, no more pain, no more pain (I realise there are 101 complications that can occur post pouch surgery but they are NOT going to happen to me so I shall ignore them and concentrate on the best possible outcome). NO MORE PAIN! No more having to find childcare at a moments notice, no more needing help to do things that every normal, healthy person takes for granted, no more cancelling nights out, day trips, events. I can finally strive to reach my potential rather than constantly having to hold back, I can focus and plan for the future without fear of the UC axe falling, I can look forward to things without the trepidation of suddenly needing to get to a toilet and spend an hour in there. No more operations, drug infusions, drug side effects, weight gain, weight loss, spots! (I haven’t had a spot since my surgery when prior I used to always have a good few).More energy, bags more energy. No more pressure on my husband and family to take care of me and the children all the time as well as work and have their own lives. No more constant worry for me and my husband. Better sex! It’s amazing how things improve once you have energy and your not living in the toilet
))) More fun.
I know there are loads more things that I will benefit from and realise over time. Little things like the lack of tension in my shoulders that I never knew I had but that has now gone. The constant angst over finding toilets and going to places where there were toilets close by. All those mental adjustments that I have no idea I have to make but that I will notice over time.
I am now going to start celebrating. Last night we went dancing together for the first time in ages. I am shattered but it was fantastic to see my friends from my Thursday class whom I haven’t seen for over 9 months. It was also great to know that this was the start of me regaining my fitness and strength and getting further than I ever have with it. It is going to take time to get truly fit but I have the time.
So, I am no longer a person with UC or an ileostomy. I am a person with a pouch but that seems irrelevant and unimportant. It’s not a label that is going to harm me. It is a label that has made me better. My pouch is working a treat. So far I am one of the lucky ones. I go about five times a day and that is likely to reduce over time. I have semi solid almost formed stool when on no drugs,which is excellent and bodes well for the future. All in all I am confident that there will be no problems and I am not going to waste a moment worrying about what might happen in the future. I am going to enjoy my health and forget I have a pouch.
Off to have a lazy day now as I really am tired. Last day of the school holidays so it calls for DVD’s and popcorn.